Saturday, January 03, 2009

Time to get fit and lose weight, again

God damn it, it's 2009 already, and I am still a lardy ass. My biceps got bigger, which disguised my beer belly a little, but they seem to have shrunk once again. Maybe due to lack of quaffing.

Talking of quaffing, Terry Pratchett has Alzheimers, that is sad news. Was that new news in 2008? I think so. Great writer, hope he stays well long enough to write some more disc world novels.

So, what will I be doing in 2009 to get myself in shape? Maybe I will drink Wu Yi tea and eat Acai berries. Then again, maybe I will get real and realise that these are just stupid marketing tricks that dumb witted nonces fall for. I mean, how can drinking tea and eating berries make you lose weight? What a load of bull. Just because Oprah Winfrey endorses these products does not mean that you can throw all logic out the window. Instead, drink PG Tips and grapefruits. This will help you lose weight just as well. In fact, grapefruit boosts your metabolism, so that will actually help.

I may start the MotleyHealth daily weight loss diet. Here it is:

Breakfast: Start the day with muesli and a grapefruit
Morning snack: Cottage cheese makes a good morning snack as it requires not preparation.
Lunch: Extra hot mince beef chilli, with extra kidney beans. For dessert eat a fat free yoghurt.
Afternoon snack: If your energy levels start to wane, grab a bag of pistachio nuts and munch your way through them. This should keep you going through to dinner. Have a whey protein shake too.
Dinner: Soup of the day, followed by baked salmon served on a bed of watercress and rocket.
Post workout (any time of day): Whey protein shake.


Wish me luck. String Vest really wants to get fit and lose some belly fat this year!!!!